Lets Think a Little Deeper

The Penguin Has Moved

2008-09-15T21:55:00.003-05:00

Deathbyopus has shut down it doors for the better

and the new and improved penguin (me) can be found over

Rained Out

2008-09-14T11:38:00.004-05:00

Was supposed to go to the family reunion today. Hadn't slept but was looking forward to seeing people I have not seen in a decade. We were in the car and my dads cell phone rang saying it was cancelled. The power was out where we were heading and the rain was freaking crazy. So we turned around, hit up the Cracker Barrel, and came home. Feel bad for my dad, he was really bummed as he was looking forward to seeing everyone. Hopefully we will be able to go next year.

So how was your guys weekend?

Fun with Graphs?

2008-09-11T21:37:00.003-05:00

I think just about everyone has heard of I Can Has Cheezburger. I think it's very creative and gives me a laugh every time I see it. Now, I see they've had a sister site with graphs. I didn't think graphs could be funny, I was wrong.

Click on the Monty Python graph to see a clearer version, freaking blogger!

I also recommend xkcd.com. To quote their page, its a web comic of romance,sarcasm, math, and language. HERE's my favorite one. Love ya guys.

One Wish Wednesday #2

2008-09-10T19:24:00.009-05:00

I am gonna tell you of more practical wishes I wish would come true. We could all wish for a million dollars, world peace, or that all the Beatles were alive and well and touring. Sadly, that is not the case. We need wishes that maybe, might, or could come true. If you want to play along, cool! Here is my wish for this second installment of O.W.W.

Wish - Holiday items cannot be sold in stores until AT LEAST 2 months prior.

WTF have we become as a nation when we start selling holiday crap 3-4 months before the holiday? I've seen it online, and in stores, particularly the selling of Christmas crap before other holidays have arrived. (Halloween and Thanksgiving)

I was at a store, late August/early September, and was hoping to see some Halloween out. But what do my eyes see, a mother F$%^*ng SANTA! I went into a rampage and destroyed the Christmas section. Well.....I didn't but mentally I burned that place down.

I'm I the only one who feels like this?

Simply Labeled Another Time, Another Place

2008-09-09T23:48:00.000-05:00

I see myself gazing into a mirror with letters on the bottom that simply say Another Time, Another Place. As I look into the mirror I see myself only I'm a few years older. I'm coming home from my job and I appear tired but glad to be home. My house is beautiful and it makes me smile every time I see it. As my keys ring from trying to unlock the front door, I hear foot steps running to greet me. As I open the door I am ambushed by two young boys joyfully screaming dad. I hug them both, tell them I love them, and ask were their mother is. They say almost in unison while giggling, "In the kitchen".

I smile and proceed to carry them in the kitchen to see my wife. She's at the table, getting dinner ready, and even though see has been cooking she looks lovelier than I have seen. She smiles and says hi and return the hello. We hug and share a romantic kiss, the love in the room is overwhelming. Just as she gets ready to say I love you........I wake up. I cry as it felt so real, as if I had just lost them.

Dreams can be so beautiful yet so cruel.

My Town Monday - Wikipedia Redone Edition

2008-09-08T00:11:00.000-05:00

I have taken the Wikipedia entry for Columbia, IL and spiced it up a bit :)

The first settlers to come to the area of Columbia, Illinois, were drunken dirty Frenchmen in the mid-1600s. They named the area in which Columbia was founded L'Aigle, which is French for We Surrender.

In the mid-1700s, Canadians took over the territory until the Revolutionary War and warm weather forced them out of the area. The colonial American settlers soon arrived and established the first permanent settlements in the area of Columbia, Fort Fu-man Chew and Fort Pigley Wigley. Both forts were made out of cabbage and were used to protect against Indian rug burns.

In 1820, Columbia was plotted out as a town and built on bluffs 500 feet above sea level to protect against possible attacks from fire ants and Benjamin Franklin.

Germans began invading the area around 1833, with the majority coming in the 1840s. United States land agents had traveled to Germany to sell land to emigrating Germans. When the immigrants arrived in the United States, they traveled immediately to their own parcels of land and beat up the locals.

Entering the United States through New Orleans, these Germans went up the Mississippi River, bypassing Poland, to St. Louis, Missouri. They "settled" in the general region, including the Columbia area. The ground was not expensive, harvests were rich, the Polish were scared, and the climate was perfect for growing grain and forcing religious views on the natives. German thrift, tenacity, tanks, and industriousness changed the character of Columbia from a pioneer settlement to a thriving community based in beer and bratwurst. The hard-working nature of the early immigrants had a direct influence on the town’s present prosperity and tolerant views of minorities.......just kidding, they're still racist as hell.

In 1859, Columbia was incorporated as a town as a result of the growth from German immigration and the threat of a David Hasselhoff concert. In 1868, the first Slim Jim sponsored railroad tracks were laid in Columbia, and the town continued to grow, develop, and snap into a Slim Jim . In 1927, Columbia became a city after losing its virginity after prom.

Don't forget to check out the man behind My Town Monday over at his blog.

I am So Proud of You

2008-09-07T00:03:00.000-05:00

I am so proud of you,

for everything you do,

I am so proud of you,

for all that you've been through.

I am so proud of you,

for keeping your head high,

I am so proud of you,

for never asking why.

I am so proud of you,

for all the love and kindness.

I am so proud of you,

for smiles and the brightness.

I am so proud of you,

for the hope you do extend,

I am so proud of you,

for simply being our friend.

I am so proud of you.

For L

If you get a second, stop by my friend L's blog and show her some love. After an up and down year she finally got moved into her new pad. She's really hung in there, held her head high, and come through swinging.

I'm so proud of you L.

Beautiful Random Words

2008-09-05T09:24:00.013-05:00

I'm watching Red Dwarf and Kryten is talking about the word Ambivalence. I've known the meaning but the word just sounds so beautiful. It got me thinking about it and other pretty words.

Ambivalence - a state of having emotions of both positive and negative valence or of having thoughts or actions in contradiction with each other, when they are related to the same object, idea or person (for example, feeling both love and hatred for someone or something).

Compassion - Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.

Chupacabra - Purported creature resembling a gargoyle, said to exist in parts of Mexico and on Puerto Rico

Lemming - small rodents, usually found in or near the Arctic, in tundra biomes.

Xiphoid Process - The small cartilaginous extension to the lower part of the sternum which is usually ossified in the adult human.

Some words are just simply beautiful, roll of your tongue, and whether you know the definition, make you smile. I know there are more but these make me smile. How about you? :)

I Have the Reverse Flu

2008-09-04T07:13:00.007-05:00

My mood at the moment can only be explained with a snip it

from the classic BBC show Red Dwarf.

KRYTEN: Quite extraordinary. Lanstrom (a doctor) postulated that there are two kinds of virus. Positive and negative. The negative we already know about.

LISTER: Yeah, like the flu, rabies, that kind of stuff.

KRYTEN: But she also believed that there are positive viral strains which actually make human beings feel better.

CAT: Such as?

KRYTEN: Well, at a very basic level she predicted a kind of ‘reverse flu’ - a strain of virus which promotes an unaccountable feeling of well-being and happiness.

LISTER: That's happened to me! Me life's been turned to complete and utter crud, and I've woken up in the morning feeling good for no apparent reason!

KRYTEN: The chances are, sir, that on those occasions you had unwittingly contracted Lanstrom's virus. According to her notes, twentieth-century DJs suffered from it all the time.

LMAOL, I love that last part. I do seem to be suffering from the reverse flu. I have no reason to really explain this great mood and total happiness I am feeling. All I know is that I hope its contagious and that somehow you can get it over the net. *cough cough* I wish you guys could see my smile.

I love you guys.

One Wish Wednesday

2008-09-03T00:07:00.009-05:00

Some of my buds on the net have certain blogs they do on certain days; Travis does My Town Monday on Monday and my uber cool cousin Janna does Tuesday's Stuff and Things on Tuesdays. I want to join in on the fun and do something on weekly basis with a theme. After much thinking I has decided on One Wish Wednesday. I think we deserve one wish a week, and I am gonna tell you of more practical wishes I wish would come true. We could all wish for a million dollars, world peace, or that all the Beatles were alive and well and touring. Sadly, that is not the case. We need wishes that maybe, might, or could come true. If you want to play along, cool! Here is my wish for this first installment of O.W.W.

Wish - I wish they would move the freaking staff bathroom.

Do you work at a place where the your bathroom is RIGHT next to where everyone works. Are you male and loud? Or a gassy female? If so, then you feel my pain. Our staff bathroom is about 8 feet from where everyone sits. And being a guy, using thing bathroom when I need to something other than the standard, is quite embarrassing and doesn't end well. Thankfully this has never happened to me, but rather learned of this when a doctor used it. The smell from the restroom was unimaginable. I smelt hell, fire, and brimstone; thinking that the Devil had just taken a "boom boom". (boom boom is what some nurses call a number 2 here Children's when talking with kids)

I know somewhere there is an architect laughing and screaming, "EVERYONE IS GONNA HAVE TO SMELL IT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Well, f&*k you Mr. I Need to Put a Crapper in the Work Area. I take the elevator down 5 stories to use a bathroom with privacy and not have to worry about the staff running in fear. Is it worth it........yes it is. :)

I Am

2008-09-02T05:22:00.009-05:00

I am so weary,

it makes me weep.

I think I will try,

and get some sleep.

But another day,

has come and gone.

And wasted time,

has done me wrong.

My time is precious,

as time seems to go.

For what tomorrow holds,

I simply don't know.

I'm tired of wasting,

this time so dear.

Time spent alone,

with no one near.

As I lay down,

and do whats best.

I can only hope time,

too takes a rest.

Love ya guys :)

Why Friends are Great

2008-09-01T02:38:00.015-05:00

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

- Unknown

So I am out getting a bite to eat with my friend Lauren and we start talking about things, life, the usual food stuff. Eventually in the conversation I started talking about how things haven't quite come the way I planned. I compared my life to boat set for the new world. This boat was my hopes and dreams disstend for a land of happiness and love. Sadly, in mid journey, things started going to hell. The crew abandoned ship and the sails burn in the night sky. So I told her it took me a while to figure that all I can do is weather the storms and hope my vessel drifts to better place. And without missing a beat, she says, "if that were the case, you still have another option." Me having thought of everything said, "Whats that?".

She said, "Well, you can always row."

When you think you have no other options, your friends will always surprise you and remind you that you always have more options. I truly am greatful for the friends I have and all they have done for me. The greatest thing in in the world that they have done and will do, is keep me smiling and keep my ship aflot. I love you guys.

Labor Day Laughs

2008-08-31T08:51:00.010-05:00

When I think Labor Day Weekend, I think Ninjas. Enjoy :)

Ask a Ninja

A Stolen List

2008-08-30T02:07:00.000-05:00

As I am tired and mentally flushed at the moment, I have "borrowed" this from Robyn who had in turn "borrowed" it from her friend.

Highlight those tasks that you have accomplished in your life.

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink

02. Swam with wild dolphins

03. Climbed a mountain

04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive

05. Been inside the Great Pyramid

06. Held a tarantula

07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone

08. Said “I love you” and meant it

09. Hugged a tree

10. Bungee jumped

11. Visited Paris

12. Watched a lightning storm at sea

13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise

14. Seen the Northern Lights

15. Gone to a huge sports game

16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa

17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables

18. Touched an iceberg

19. Slept under the stars

20. Changed a baby’s nappy

21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon

22. Watched a meteor shower

23. Gotten tipsy on champagne

24. Given more than you can afford to charity

25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope

26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment

27. Been engaged

28. Bet on a winning horse

29. Asked out a stranger

30. Had a snowball fight

31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can

32. Held a lamb

33. Seen a total eclipse of both the sun and moon

34. Ridden a roller coaster

35. Hit a home run

36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking

37. Adopted an accent for an entire day

38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment

39. Had two hard drives for your computer

40. Visited all 50 states

41. Taken care of someone who was drunk

42. Had/Have amazing friends

43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country

44. Watched whales

45. Stolen a sign

46. Backpacked in Europe

47. Taken a road-trip

48. Gone rock climbing

49. Midnight walk on the beach

50. Gone sky diving

51. Visited Ireland

52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love

53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them

54. Visited Japan

55. Milked a cow

56. Alphabetized your CDs

57. Pretended to be a superhero

58. Sung karaoke

59. Lounged around in bed all day

60. Played touch football

61. Gone scuba diving

62. Kissed in the rain

63. Played in the mud

64. Played in the rain

65. Gone to a drive-in theater

66. Visited the Great Wall of China

67. Started a business

68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken

69. Toured ancient sites

70. Taken a martial arts class

71. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight

72. Gotten married

73. Been in a movie

74. Crashed a party

75. Gotten divorced

76. Gone without food for 5 days

77. Made cookies from scratch

78. Won first prize in a costume contest

79. Ridden a gondola in Venice

80. Gotten a tattoo

81. Rafted a river

82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”

83. Gotten flowers for no reason

84. Performed on stage

85. Been to Las Vegas

86. Recorded music

87. Eaten shark

88. Kissed on the first date

89. Gone to Thailand

90. Bought a house

91. Been in a combat zone

92. Buried one/both of your parents

93. Been on a cruise ship

94. Spoken more than one language fluently

95. Performed in a Rocky Horror Picture Show

96. Raised children

97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour

98. Passed out cold

99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country

100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over - Soon

101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge

102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking

103. Had plastic surgery

104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived

105. Wrote articles for a large publication

106. Lost over 100 pounds

107. Held someone while they were having a flashback

108. Piloted an airplane

109. Touched a stingray

110. Broken someone’s heart

111. Helped an animal give birth

112. Won money on a TV game show

113. Broken a bone

114. Gone on an African photo safari

115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears

116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol

117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild

118. Ridden a horse

119. Had major surgery

120. Had a snake as a pet

121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon

122. Slept 30 hours in a 48 hour time frame

123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states

124. Visited all 7 continents

125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days

126. Eaten kangaroo meat

127. Eaten sushi

128. Had your picture in the newspaper

129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about

130. Gone back to school

131. Parasailed

132. Touched a cockroach

133. Eaten fried green tomatoes

134. Read “The Iliad”

135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read

136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

137. Skipped all your school reunions

138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language

139. Been elected to public office

140. Written your own computer language

141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream

142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care

143. Built your own PC from parts

144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you

145. Had a booth at a street fair

146. Dyed your hair

147. Been a DJ

148. Shaved your head

149. Caused a car accident

150. Saved someone’s life

Thats a freaking list!

China 2009

2008-08-29T02:06:00.005-05:00

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

- Mark Twain

I have decided to go to China to see my cousin Justin and hang with him for a while. I plan to leave next summer as this will give me time to finish paying off my only debt, my truck loan. This will also give me time to save up some cash, get my paperwork in order, hang with friends/family, and psych myself to leaving the country. I'm looking forward to something new and something different. I have a lot of friends/family here, but besides that I have nothing. My job is great but it is not a career. My love life is non-existent and who knows if that will change. I'm also hung up on someone and I think the distance might finally get me to move on.

The thought of leaving is scary yet at the same time exciting. Even if I don't live there forever and decide to come home, I can at least say, "China....been there, done that." Hopefully I will find a nice gal, a nice job, get along with my cousin, and find what I have been looking for. I'm not sure what it is, but I hope I find it. :)

Love ya guys

- Josh

P.S. Sorry for the ever changing appearance of my blog. It seems everyday I try to find a layout that best suits me and I have yet to find it. I thought it would be easy to find a layout that says who I am, and as of this second I have yet to find it. So heads up, more changes probably coming.

Sometimes It Would Be Nice

2008-08-28T06:25:00.016-05:00

Sometimes it would be nice

if our lives were like a book.

Having already been written

so we could take a look.

To read ahead and make sure

the choices we made were just,

that we did not waste a minute,

when every second is a must.

I could use that book right now

as my present choice may fail,

And I am uncertain in myself

with my mind so weak and frail.

I do not know what to do

as everything is out of place,

this chapter of my life it seems

is lost and gone without a trace.

The Ultimate Move

2008-08-26T05:24:00.007-05:00

I have a cousin that lives in China. He's been there, I think, for over 5 years and is the closest thing I have to brother. He loves it there as he has a soon to be wife, and says he's never moving back to the States. 3/4 years ago, he asked to move there and hang with him. I was all gung ho. I had gotten my Visa in order, found a decent plane ticket, and had even turned in my notice at my job. Well, sadly some things fell through and I wasn't able to go. Thankfully I was able to get my job back and everything was fine.

It seems every year since then he always tries to get me to come over there. I didn't before because of either A) my job, B) wanting to settle down, C) being scared or D) all of the above.

Well, a lot has happened since then and know I'm am the same position but with a different frame of mind. I emailed him to say happy birthday, and again got the same "you need to come over here man". I don't have that special someone and even though I love my job, I do not see myself doing that for the rest of my life. He said I could live with him rent free and he'd get me a job.

The more and more I think about it the better it sounds. If I did I would sell my truck and get rid of my phone as then I would have no more bills. The thought of being in a new country with new possibilities is quite the high. I still have a ton of time to think about this and it may never happen....but what if it did. Time to think a little deeper :) Love ya guys.

Hobbies

2008-08-25T03:32:00.002-05:00

from xkcd.com

Not the greatest hobby but you get to meet a lot of nice people in uniforms. I hope that everyone had a great weekend and that the week ahead is easy and fun. I get off work in 3 hours and then I have 3 days off. Oh happy days.

Love ya guys :)

Love at its Best

2008-08-23T04:17:00.008-05:00

Big Fish is a movie that holds a special place in my heart. Its story hits home to me in more than one area. Its reminds me off my late Grandfather and a love long since lost. This video I found on Youtube brings back alot of memories of my grandfather and of her. I hope you like it as much as I love it. Love ya guys.

An Apocalyptica Weekend

2008-08-23T00:42:00.000-05:00

One of the things that makes music unique is that is never ending. There is always new music, always something new to listen too and experience. Music is my happy place, as it is with other people. I have found a few new songs from one of my favorite bands, Apocalyptica. Here's one called I Don't Care featuring Apocalyptica with Adam Gontier of Three Days Grace.

5 Keys to a Great Day

2008-08-22T04:34:00.011-05:00

“If you don't think every day is a good day,

just try missing one.”

- Calvett Robert

1. Watch Big Fish

2. Watch Edward Scissorhands

3. Eat

4. Watch Corpse Bride

5. Watch The Nightmare Before Christmas

If one is looking to relax, a day lost to the cinema is best. Movies that provoke emotion, make you laugh, and bring back memories are the greatest. This is how I spent yesterday, surrounded by some of my favorite movies while enjoying every single scene, song, and memory. Good times.

I hope everyone has a great Friday and that weekend comes soon. Love ya guys :)

It's Gonna Be a Great Day

2008-08-21T05:15:00.013-05:00

Mythbusters: Mini Edition

2008-08-20T00:06:00.005-05:00

Myth: Flipping your collar up at a party will make you cool.

The Test: We put 10 males in a room with 10 drunk and ready females. 5 had their collars flipped up while the other 5 had their collars down or normal. After less than 5 minutes, the normal collar down males had mated 3 times each female while the collar up guys were found talking in a corner smelling very fresh.

Conclusion: Wearing your collar up at a party does not make you cooler but it will make you look like a douche. Myth Busted!

Myth: A man's sexual energy triggers headaches in women.

The Test: We took 6 couples; 2 married, 2 divorced, and 2 couples who had just met each other over the Internet. All 6 men were administered 2 Viagra tablets and were ready for love. When the time for sexual congress had arrived, the results were mixed. One of the married women fell asleep and the 2 divorced women each had a headache. However, the other 3 couples did mate and with only one female sustained experiencing any head issues. This issue arouse when her partner, a part time acrobat and shoe salesman, threw her into the air while attempting a complected sexual maneuver

Conclusion: When a woman experiences a headache in a regards to sex, the ache is nothing more than a simple reason not to have sex with her partner. Or that of an injury that was the result of a illegal page of the Kama Sutra. Myth Busted!

Myth: If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money.

The Test: We gave 3 people five dollars and then gave Chuck Norris five dollars. Fifteen minutes later, 2 people were dead, 1 in a coma, and Chuck Norris had $20.

The Conclusion: Even if Chuck Norris had not killed those involved with the test, Chuck Norris's five dollars will always be greater than your five dollars. Myth Confirmed on Pain of Death.

After doing a very deep thought provoking blog yesterday, I thought it would be best to do a fun and silly one. I hope that everyone is having a great week and that the weekend comes sooner than expected. Love ya guys.

Changes Through Time

2008-08-19T04:32:00.006-05:00

“To get all there is out of living, we must employ our time wisely,

never being in too much of a hurry to stop and sip life,

but never losing our sense of the enormous value of a minute.

- Robert Updegraff

As a man who is only 26, I feel sometimes as though I have lived many lives before my own. Having experienced all that can be experienced, loved all, and lived as though I would never live again. I've often been called a middle aged man trapped in a young mans body. I find that be comforting and "a bit of a downer". It is nice to think beyond your years, but at the same time, we need to enjoy the time we have now and not worry. As I sit here with this middle age brain and think, one thing really worries me.

When I was younger I was enthralled with the prospect of true love and marriage. I had seen as a child the love between my parents and how much their union meant to them. While I don't doubt or worry about the state of love, I worry about the state of marriage or even togetherness in our times. My thoughts had always been find the one you love and be with that person till the day you die. I have since revised that statement, to just try and find the one your love. Amazingly, this new train of thought has nothing to do with anyone past or present in my life. But rather standing back and looking through an unclouded telescope at the world and it's creatures.

Times have changed but not for the better. Things once held to be sacred are not. All you seem to hear is the worst and never see the positive light. But it wasn't always like this. Our parents lived in this time of love and togetherness as their parents did before them. But I will admit the world was a kinder and more loving place.....once upon a time. We have de-evolved into a emotionless self centered void.

But as mankind has always shown, there is always a glimmer of hope. I still see it in my parents eyes and hear it in their words. I read about it on my cousins blog and wish that I, along with everyone, had that kind of family. Do I think these good old days will return for mankind? No. Do I hope that we will see what we've loss and attempt to relearn it? With all my heart yes.

Love ya guys.

"The world is a stage, but not everything has to be a farce."
- Josh Leadbetter

My Town Monday - St. Louis

2008-08-18T04:40:00.032-05:00

The cool things about where I live is that I'm twenty minutes from St. Louis. And over the last few years, because of a friend, have I really discovered the fun to be had there. If you are ever in the area, these are a few of the places I would recommend in a heartbeat. If we're gonna have a night out in St. Louis, your gonna need a pint.

The Scottish Arms is a true honest to goodness Scottish Pub. They serve Scottish food, lager, and even wear kilts. If your Scottish, it's the place to be. If you want to drink and think of your homeland, this is the place to be. I have only been there once, but while I was drinking and eating, the lamb is great, I felt comfortable and at home. This is one place you must go for a pint. I imagine myself in Scotland, with my lass, at a pub like this.

Their bar is my dream bar.

And what if your looking for a little class? The St. Louis Art Museum is the place to go. I have been coming to this museum since we moved here in 92. I really truly enjoy coming here. The environment is relaxed, as you hope it would be. The art is beautiful and if you have that someone special with you, you'll enjoy it that much more.

There is a painting in here that looks just like my

cousin, Something She Wrote. I think she's seen it.

And whats great about going to the museum, the St. Louis Zoo is right next to it. There is nothing better than spending part of the day at the museum then hitting the zoo or vice averse. If you go in the summer time, I recommend the Penguin Exhibit highly. It's freaking cool and the penguins rock.

"Where is Batman?", he asked his ass.

And since I am a theater lover and part time music man, I would suggest swinging by the Fox Theater. This is the place to see musicals, Broadway plays, comedians, and musicians alike. Phantom of the Opera looks amazing here, watching a comedy genius do stand up here is awesome, and just being able to say, "Sorry, I'm heading to the theater." is just plain fun.

The inside is so beautiful.

And if your looking for a great place to eat, I'm sorry. There is only one place I have ever recommended as if the life of my first born child depended on it. That place, my friends, is Quatro's. True, its about 80 minutes from where I live, in Carbondale, IL where I went to college, but dammit, it has the best pizza anywhere! Get a large deep pan Meateater, that's all you need.

Not in St. Louis

Love ya guys and have a great Monday.

MST3K For the Win!

2008-08-17T04:45:00.003-05:00

So my friend L emailed me about a Sci-Fi convention coming to St. Louis. Folks I'm not gonna lie, I'm a huge Science Fiction nerd. As a child I remember watching and loving the British ones most. My two favorites of all time where and are.....

Red Dwarf

and Dr. Who

Red Dwarf is my favorite BBC one hands down. It was on for a decade, 88-97, and always made me laugh. Here's the synopsis:

Three million years ago, a radiation leak killed the crew of the mining ship, Red Dwarf. The only survivor was Dave Lister, the chicken soup machine repairman. He spends his time on the ship with a holographic projection of Arnold Rimmer (his dead bunk mate), Cat (a life-form that evolved from Dave's cat), Holly (the ship's senile computer), and Kryten (a service mechanoid).

That rocks! Oops, sorry, got off track there. One of my other favorite scf-fi shows, Mystery Science Theater 3000, or MST3K, will be represented at this convention!

This great show ran from 1989-1999 with over 180 episodes. For those of you that don't know this show, here is another synopsis.

When zany mad scientist Dr. Clayton Forrester and his loopy assistant Frank get bored with their work at the Deep Thirteen research center, they kidnap Joel the janitor and shoot him into orbit on the Satellite of Love. While in space Joel builds wacky robot sidekicks Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot to help him withstand an onslaught of grade 'Z' movies that the mad scientists force him to watch.

So it's a show about a man and 2 robots, forced to watch some of the worst B movies of all time. So pretty much them watching these movies, mocking them to hell, as they sit in a theater. Out of this world funny. Head to youtube and type in MST3K and enjoy.

Back to the meaning of this blog. A bunch of the dudes/dudettes from the show are gonna be at the convention as this is their 20th anniversary. I can't wait to meet and greet with them.

So, if you in the St. Louis area October3-5, I just might see you there. Love ya guys

Info About the Convention Here

Food, Friends, and Cats

2008-08-15T00:24:00.004-05:00

"A faithful friend is the medicine of life."

- Apocrypha

Even though I have been having a ton of fun with the Real* Stories, you can read the conclusion by clicking here or you can quit being a lazy bastard and scroll down one blog! Anyway, I still must remember to blog about actual things. On Wednesday night, I was able to meet up with some really great friends of mine at Lotawata Creek. If you haven't eaten there, its a true challenge. They give you so much freaking food, its puts guys like me to shame. This is the only place I can never finish my plate.

As we hugged and shook hands, I remembered I had not seen these guys/gals since my college years; I went to college in 2000-2001. Yeah, only one year as I flunked out and was asked not to return. It's not my fault as I had to take classes OTHER than music. Who the hell uses Philosophy anyway!? Anyway, that's a blog for another day. And even though I went back for a few fraternity functions and football games, I had not seen most of these people in over 6 years.

Let me say, it was great to see everyone and fun was had by all. We ate, drank, and socialized; the three keys elements to a great time. We told stories from times past, and caught up with the present. All them are married, some with kids and some with cats. And those people just with cats love it when they are repeatedly asked, "When are YOU gonna have kids?"

But I think those cat couples may be on to something, because would rather have this.....

or this

I think that pretty much answers itself :)

As the night ended emails and numbers were exchanged, and vows of not being a stranger were traded. It really was a great time and can't wait to see them again.

Time is short people so live and love while you can. Love ya guys.

Real* Stories Part 4 - The End of the 4 Minute War

2008-08-14T22:09:00.002-05:00

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO MAKE THIS SLIGHTLY MORE FUNNY.

PREVIOUSLY ON REAL* STORIES

And when I saw Lauren pull out the Taffy, I knew this rumble was on. She had a ritual with her fights; first she'd eat some Taffy, then put on her Drew Carey glasses, and last, she'd turn on her Rick Astley Beat Down Mix on her IPod. When we heard "Never Gonna Give You Up" blaring from her headset, we knew something else, The Popsicle Express had no chance.

Lauren made a b-line for Pat O'Cake. Not really to single him out, but to save him from Brad. He had cornered Pat and was doing his one man show of South Pacific. Pat, who was crying and scared, was grateful to see Lauren. He would rather scrap with her rather than sit through another minute of Brad's show. Pat sadly didn't have a chance as once Lauren had her taffy, she was unstoppable. She made him say uncle, then pinkie swear that he would go home and think about what he'd done. He continued crying, and then left.

Kelly and Dan had teamed up to take on Jack and Red. They were duking it out in the Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop apply named Lure. Pizza was flying, worms were trampled, and the ladies in the Pizzeria seemed pretty excited. And with each of their ladies on there shoulders, an epic chicken fight began......and ended quickly. Sadly, due to Big Jacks small size, they were easily defeated. Dan and Kelly embraced knowing that their skills at chicken fighting while inside a Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop, was out of this world.

I was trading jabs back and forth with Brian O'Nasty. First I showed him some old family pictures, which dazed him. Then he showed me some Lolcats from his cell phone, it almost knocked me down. But I was finally able to knock him out with a low blow of nude pictures of his girlfriend. She was partially dressed as Barney being whipped with a Halibut as she watched Harry Potter; it was just too much for him.

As we looked over the battle field, through the midgets, the night crawlers, and as Brad continued to sing, we marveled in our victory. We knew we were the kings of South East Chicago. And as we left, Brad was finishing South Pacific and moving on to Sunset Boulevard.

We smiled and knew everything was gonna be OK.

THE END......for this war anyway.

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Real Stories Part 3 - The Commercial^ Interruption

2008-08-14T00:05:00.002-05:00

WE INTERRUPT THIS CURRENT BLOG TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT

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Real* Stories Part 2 - The Painted Popsicle Wars

2008-08-13T06:18:00.013-05:00

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, THE CHILDREN, AND THE BAKERS MAN.

I remember when our great War started, as if it was yesterday. It was a sunny Friday around noon.........actually I think it was a cloudy Tuesday after dinner time. Now that I think about it, it was a rainy Thursday before Full House came on. Either way, that day shall live in infamy in the streets of South East Chicago.

We had just finished watching Full House and were debating who would win in a cage fight, Jesse, Joey, or Danny. Just as we added the tag team of the Olsen Twins, we ran into the Popsicle Express. Their leader, Big Jake Heights, was a midget and lawyer from Long Island. Then there was his gal and next in command, Shorty "Red" McLegs. She was a former WBA All-Star and hand model. The rest of the gang consisted Brian "Big O" Nasty, a former underwear inspector, and Pat O'Cake, the bakers man and 1999 Beat Boxing Champ.

When we ran into them, things got real quiet. Like the kind quiet when someone farts in church or when a clown dies. We had hoped to just pass them and that be it as the last rumble we had resulted in a lot of hurt feelings.

It all started when Dan said "Hey" to Big Jack. That sent him into a tiny rage and he started to kick Dan in the shin over and over again. Kelly immediately came to his aid and punted Jake into an all Lesbian Pizzeria and Bait Shop. Brad went after Brian as he had always hated underwear inspectors. I went after Mr. O'Cake, as we had heat from him stealing my Beat Boxing crown in '99. And when I saw Lauren pull out the taffy, I knew this rumble was on.

And then......................things got weird.

Stay tuned for Real* Stories Part 3 - War and Taffy

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Real* Stories Part 1 - The Introductions

2008-08-12T05:34:00.029-05:00

THE STORY YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ IS REAL*. ONLY THE NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE GUILTY, THE CHILDREN, AND THE DONKEY.

The year was 2003 and my friends had just recruited me into there gang, The Finger Painters. True, we weren't well respected or feared, but we were a huge hit with the "special" kids, my mom, and Wilbur the town donkey. We would spend our days harassing stop lights, threatening the locals with paper cuts, and throwing stale food at the drunken Amish. At night we would watch Pretender and tell ghost stories over a flaming tire.

The leader was Dan "the Fred" Savage. He had been raised in Europe, IL and had a penchant for skipping when running. At an early age he fell in love with the mother from the Wonder Years. Years later, when she rejected his affection, he began a downward spiral into crime, tom foolery, and knitting.

Next in command, was the love of his life, Kelly "Snake Eyes" Hasselhoff. She had been a dancer in the Ballet before being smitten by Dan. And once the rash cleared up, it was all love and clean sailing. She was The Jokers Harley Quinn, The Bonnie to his Clyde, and the Nancy to his Ronald Reagan.

Our weapons expert was Brad "I Hate Gravy" Sanchez. At the age of 14 he had lost his virginity to a three bean casserole....and was never the same. He loved The Lord of the Dance, the feel of wet chocolate, and had vowed to one day kill Captain Kangaroo.

Our eye candy and muscle, was Lauren "Skittles Rule" Goldstein. She had dropped out of high school after an incident with the principal, an oven ready chicken, and a mixed tape of Ace of Base. The video was confiscated but can still be seen on YouTube, just search for Disappearing Chicken, Surprised Man, She Did Not Just Do That.

And I was the brains, Josh "I'll Take a Pint" McDomination. I was in the gang because I was a rebel, a hell raiser, and because the fuzz had taken my library card. Curse you pigs as I will never know what became of Dick and Jane and their infernal red ball!

However all was not well, as we were at war with our rival gang, The Popsicle Express.

But that is a story for another blog,

Real* Stories Part 2 - The Painted Popsicle Wars

*Complete Fabrication and/or Total Bull***t

Eyes Closed, Mind Awake

2008-08-11T08:54:00.007-05:00

"The greatest things in life are

neither seen nor heard,

they are experienced."

- Josh Leadbetter

Close your eyes and open your mind to some mind blowing music. Music is the key to unlocking that which is locked. It is the air the gives our soul breath. It is the heartbeat of all life. Enjoy

And to think this is from a video game :)

My Town Monday

2008-08-11T00:02:00.000-05:00

Travis, over at his blog, does this cool blog called My Town Monday. It's pretty much a way to tell your fellow bloggers cool and informative things about yourself and your hometown. I gonna use his meme template to tell you about my town.

HOMETOWN (past, present, or future - your choice): Present - Columbia, IL

POPULATION: 9,818 (2007 Numbers)

YOU SHOULD THINK OF MY TOWN WHEN.... : you think I wanna hear a bitching marching band and watch some cool high school sports!! WE ROCK!.....sadly that's about it.

YOU SHOULD CUSS MY TOWN WHEN.... : when you pay the sky high prices on houses and apartments. Columbia is 15 minutes from everything it seems, is in a nice area, and the evil Columbia is very, very aware of that.

ONE MUST SEE IF YOU VISIT: Any of our fine chains of restaurants. We have a McDonald's, Taco Bell, Subway, Quizno's, Pizza Hut, Dairy Queen, Thai, Chinese, and a buffet! Other than that, your less than 15 minutes from St. Louis. That's where the fun is.

ONE PLACE YOU SHOULD AVOID: Remember Subway I mentioned before, stay away from there. Last time I ate there, was sick as a dog and my friend got Bubonic Plague.

FAMOUS RESIDENT: There was this Mexican dude who shot and killed his boss a few years ago. Sadly, that about it.

RENOWNED ATHLETE: TJ Mathews, Pro Baseball Player. Played with the Cardinals, Astro's, and A's. Was one of the players traded for Mark McGwire.

WITHOUT MY TOWN, THE WORLD WOULD NOT HAVE: actually, we haven't given jack shit to the world. However we do have some of the hottest ladies in the area.

I LIKE MY TOWN BECAUSE: I have lived here longer than any other place. When I was younger we moved around alot. Before I moved here in 1992, I had lived in Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, and a few different places in those states. Its nice to have a place to call home for longer than a year or two.

I MIGHT LEAVE ONE DAY BECAUSE: Even though I have good friends here, I still don't have that which I long for the most, love. I want to find a special someone and I don't think I'm gonna find her in this area. Plus, I think it's time to move to a new area. I've been here for 16 years, I think it's time for a change.

Thoughts Remembered

2008-08-10T00:52:00.000-05:00

Thoughts once lost at sea

in waters of pure madness.

Sailing throughout the years,

in a vessel made of sadness.

But after three years adrift

some memories made it home.

They had hit a land of light

where they'd be free to roam.

Happy thoughts from long ago

and those since lost in time,

have risen from the mental ashes

to thrive in a bright new mind.

Some of them are beautiful

while others shrouded black,

But no matter what they seem,

I'm grateful that their back.

This last week has really been a tough yet exciting one. Some memories that had been lost for years are slowing reappearing. Some funny, some sad, but overall they are in a bright nature. Having these memories trickle in has been a mixed blessing. While it is nice to have these lost images back, for me at least, these images bring alot of pain. All the pain and emotion I had when I lived these emotions for the first time, I'm experiencing all over again as if for first time.

I was chatting with my friend L about all this a few days ago. I can say, truthfully as a man, I was crying my eyes out the whole time. And if you think that's girly or unmanly, I'll kick your ass :). But, overall I'm glad these guys are back. I had truly forgotten those great and not so great times.

Remember, memories are like family. Whether you love em or hate em, enjoy them while you have them. Love ya guys.

Laughs All Around

2008-08-09T05:54:00.011-05:00

"Haven't you ever heard of

the healing power of laughter?

- The Joker (Batman)

So, like I said before, I went and saw Lewis Black last night at the Fox. The show was out of this world funny. The opening act was funny as hell and Lewis did not disappoint. I laughed so freaking hard and can truly say that overall the night was the best I had had it quite some time. And like clockwork, I had a huge man sitting in front of me. Thankfully, I was able to peer around his huge head and see the show.

After the showed I learned that Jim Gaffigan, another really funny comedian, will be there September 27. Looks like I'll get to go back to the Fox sooner than expected.

Also, Sweeney Todd is gonna be at the Fox. Now that should be fun. Gonna have some serious theater overload, freaking awesome.

Hope everyone had a great week and that the weekend is fun and care free. Love ya guys.

To The Theater

2008-08-08T09:03:00.005-05:00

"The novel is more of a whisper,

whereas the stage is a shout. "

- Robert Holman

If there is one thing that truly brings a smile to my face, it is the theater. Some of my favorite memories involve my family, loved ones, and friends at the theater. I'm used to seeing the classics, Phantom, The Producers, Sunset Blvd., and such. Only as of late I have I been there to see comedians. Tonight I'm heading there to see funny man Lewis Black. Man is this dude funny. Hope that everyone has a great day and that the weekend is fun and work free. Love ya guys

Hurt

2008-08-08T00:27:00.001-05:00

Partial Lyrics from

Hurt by NIN

I remember everything.

what have i become?

my sweetest friend

everyone i know

goes away in the end

you could have it all

my empire of dirt

i will let you down

i will make you hurt

i wear my crown of shit

on my liar's chair

full of broken thoughts

i cannot repair

beneath the stain of time

the feeling disappears

you are someone else

i am still right here

what have i become?

my sweetest friend

everyone i know

goes away in the end

you could have it all

my empire of dirt

i will let you down

i will make you hurt

if i could start again

a million miles away

i would keep myself

i would find a way

As each day passes, old memories are reborn in the eyes of someone who was once blind. Some good, some bad, yet everyone is a heartache and a joy. But, these things I remember feel as though they are happening to me right now, not as they were back then. As if one is watching an emotional slide show, knows whats coming, but can't hit stop. What the hell has happened to me?

What have I become?

Heaven and Hell on Earth

2008-08-07T00:00:00.006-05:00

“Those who promise us paradise on earth
never produced anything but a hell.”
- Karl Popper

Have you ever wondered if this "life" we live is the true Heaven or Hell? Imagine if you will, that our existence on this plane is just that. A combination of heaven and hell with some people living one while the rest live the other. That in the past we died and we are now here. I think this could be true just by looking at the world. Seeing people get handed everything while others get handed nothing. Watching those unworthy prosper while good people falter. Having to watch those who are not human receive a slice of Heaven while you have to stomach a piece of Hellish pie. To always see the good guy fail. Makes you wonder and if this were true, you'd have to ask yourself, what I do to deserve this? Or "how did I get so lucky?" depending on which end you are on.

Remember though the key words are, if this were true. You can stack this with the Hollow Earth Society and Alien Abductions. it's just something to think about, something to keep the mind at ease. And remember, if you are in Heaven, enjoy it for you earned it. And if your in Hell, well, you too also earned it.

Love ya guys.

p.s. As you can see, I'm in kind of a downer mood. I was given the name of 3 doctors and guess what? 1 isn't excepting new patients till the end of September, 1 is on vacation for another 2/3 weeks, and the last one hasn't returned my call. Oh well, all one can do is wait, vent to friends, and hope for the snuggle of a good woman. :)

p.s.s. Enjoy probably the most beautiful piece of music ever written HERE. It's joyful yet sad, alive yet sedate, it is life in its purest. I got to see these guys live, best concert I have ever seen. Love you guys.

Sometimes the Hardest Decisions are the Best Decisions

2008-08-04T00:05:00.000-05:00

After a very up and down, mentally frustrating month, I have decided to return to seeing a doctor and go back on medication. I had always hoped that I could rise and over come these problems. I wasn't able to in the past and broke down. I confided in a close friend and ER doctor that I needed help. He was able to make some phone calls that night and gave me the name of the best doctor in the area. I saw him a handful of times, was able to talk, and had just started on a medication regiment. Sadly, I had to stop seeing him after I was let go from my ER job. It also didn't help that he was not covered by my then health plan. These doctors are freaking expensive when they are not at the hospitals that your insurance wants.

Anyway, I made the call today to a doctor that was recommended by my assistant manager from Children's. When I interviewed with them last year, I was open about my past struggles. She had said that if I ever needed anything, just to ask. A few weeks ago, I did. I went to her and said that my mind and emotions were on a roller coaster, some days good, some not so much. I've been grateful that over the years, and presently, that my problems have never surfaced at work. This always seems to hit them out of left field. "Your such a nice guy, your always smiling and polite, I would have never guessed" is what they say.

Sorry to be so random and out of typical formation, my English teacher would have a fit with this entry. Anyway, of course it's a Sunday and had to leave a message. Which means I won't here back from them till Monday at the earliest. But it's a step in the right mental direction. My mind IS better than what it was. It is awake and kicking. I just don't want to return to life where darkness is all that my mind see's and thinks. I love that my mind is good, but I want it to be better.

I love you guys. And to my friends, sorry if I have been out of place as of late and not Josh. You guys keep me going and I am grateful that you are in my life.

- Josh Leadbetter

Faith in Humanity......Check!

2008-08-03T08:02:00.008-05:00

"History does nothing; it does not possess immense

riches, it does not fight battles. It is men, real,

living, who do all this."

- Karl Marx

Yesterday I went to a wedding reception for a friend of mine. He and he lovely bride were married in New Hampshire but wanted to have a reception for those of us not able to make. We get there and it's a true German restaurant. The food, the look....you name it...it was there. Soon the bride and groom get there and guess what, he's wearing Lederhosen and she's in a German dress. I can't remember the last time I recall smiling and laughing so much at a wedding reception. Most are boring, dull, and you end up overheated. Not this one, it was fun, love was in the air, and they even had fans set up to keep us cool....these people were awesome.

But one thing really stuck out, it was the love these two people had for each other and life. It was evident in everything they did, said, and showed. And this struck a cord with me as for a while I had lost my faith in my fellow man, love, and humanity. It seems when everyday all you hear of is war, death, and divorce, something like this can truly put your faith back in humanity and love. I wish them the best and hope their love can be one of the beacons of light to bring humanity back from the darkness.

Love ya guys

And Now For Something Completely Different

2008-08-03T05:22:00.001-05:00

"Music is good!"
- Josh Leadbetter

Care to Dance?

2008-08-02T09:41:00.006-05:00

“Those who danced were thought to be quite

insane by those who could not hear the music.”

- Angela Monet

Ever been in the mood to just dance? And no, I'm not talking about YMCA'ing, Electric Sliding, or doing that Duck Dance. I'm talking about the classic art of slow dancing. It's weird to think that of all the little things I miss most, I miss slow dancing a great deal. I remember doing that in the ER when we were not busy out the blue. The music is in your mind and the fun is out of this world. Can't wait to do that again someday, and maybe to this song.

Love you guys :)

If I Were at Home, This Might Be Fun

2008-08-01T02:41:00.004-05:00

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun”

- Katharine Hepburn

Ever have something happen to you at work and you thought "this sucks, but if I were anywhere else it would be fun"? I thought about this after an incident here at work. After this happened, I just laughed and said, "If I was at home, this might be fun." It's amazing that something as simple as location can make something enjoyable or a pain in the ass.

Like.....

Restraining People: Not Fun at Work(I work at a hospital); Could be Fun at Home.

Talking On the Phone All Day: Fun at Work (It's free); Not Fun at Home.

Using the Restroom with the Door Open: Fun at Home; Awkward at Work.

"Breaking Wind": Fun at Home; Funnier than Hell at Work.

Drinking with Your Friends: Fun at Home; A Lawsuit at Work.

Holding Babies for Hours and Hours: Fun at Work; Gets You on The List at Home.

Leaving When You Feel Like It: Fun at Home, Fun ONCE at work.

Sex: Fun at Home, Has the Potential for GREATNESS at work.

Flirting with Those Around You: Fun at Work; Creepy and Not Fun at Home.

Love ya guys

Have a great Friday and the weekend will be here soon.

Unleash Your Inner Villian

2008-07-31T00:14:00.008-05:00

"The sad truth is that most evil is done by people

who never make up their minds to be good or evil."

- Hannah Arendt

Being good is in our nature, it's whats naturally expected of us. But, if you had the chance to be bad, would you if only for a second? Better yet, think of things in a comic book kind of way, set in a comic book world. If you could reverse roles, from that of the hero to the villain, would you? Seeing as how this is a social experiment, I'll go first. Yes. The chance to go against the flow, cause ciaos instead of order, brings a smile to my face. Of course this is all theoretical and would never happen in real life. But that being said, if you could, which villain would your style be based on? What villain would be most like you or you like them?

Catwoman: Master thief, good in a fight, tight outfit, and a whip. No, not my style.

The Joker: Unpredictable, murderous and surprisingly cunning. No, never a murderer.

The Riddler: Criminal strategist, employs weaponry disguised as puzzles ,skilled with engineering and technology. Maybe

Bane: Highly intelligent, Olympic - level strength, and uses the "Venom" drug to artificially increase his strength to superhuman levels. Maybe as well

Lex Luthor: Genius, criminal mastermind, businessman. No, not a business type.

Dr. Doom: Intellect, master of the mystical arts,thirst for world domination. Nah, world domination is so 90's.

Magneto: Can control of all magnetic forces, resist all but the strongest or most unexpected telepathic attacks, advanced intellect, costume is made of flexible metal bonded on the molecular level, which provides protection against projectiles, energy weapons, and concussive force. Nah, not me either

Mr. Freeze: Scientist, Evil by Tragedy, theme is "cold", refrigeration suit grants him superhuman strength and durability, desire to make the rest of the world as miserable as he is.

WINNER!

Its nice to let the mind wander in areas that in real life it will never go. So how about you, what villain would you be? There are a ton more like Harley Quinn, the X-Men Villains, Poison Ivy, Scarecrow, or the Mad Hatter.........have a little fun!

Oh, and on the ironic side, I took a Which Villain am I quiz, and guess what, I'm Mr. Freeze there too, lol.

Love ya guys.

Forgive Me Father for I Have Wow'd

2008-07-30T19:35:00.001-05:00

“Rather than viewing a brief relapse back to

inactivity as a failure, treat it as a challenge and

try to get back on track as soon as possible.”

- Jimmy Connors

Forgive me Father for I have Wow'd. It had been 6 months since my last encounter with the game of Warcraft. I thought I was strong, and thought I would not relapse. However, two nights ago after a night of sad thoughts, I reinstalled WoW. I did so just to see what was up in the world of Azeroth. The old feelings I had had for this online game soon returned to me. I felt the rush, the felt the fun, and I felt the dwarfs. But then, my mind was aware of what I had done, I had relapsed. I gave up this game for it was addicting and I would have chosen to play online rather than spend time with my friends. Father, give me the strength to not relapse again to this addictive game. In Matthew Broderick's name we pray, amen.

And to think I actually trusted William Shatner!

Love ya guys :)

Goals and Challenges

2008-07-30T00:10:00.009-05:00

"If you don't know where you are

going, you can never get lost."

- Herb Cohen

Two of my friends, and fellow blogger's, have goals and challenges that they are working on. K, who just started her 100 Day Challenge, is gonna do 100 days with NO TV. Wow, that takes some heavy duty marbles right there. And L, has a long list of 101 things to do and complete in the next two years. (along the right side of her page)

I too have goals that I'm working on and have completed over the last 18 months. Seeing as they are doing so well with theirs, I'll tell you about mine. Some are real, some are silly, can you tell which ones. :)

12 Months without Being Attacked by a Bear - DONE
See a Movie Ever Week for 2 Months - SOON
Go 15 Minutes Without Singing a Song by Brian Adams - DONE
1 Hour of "Naughty Free" Thoughts - FAIL
Read a Book OTHER than a Graphic Novel - FAIL
Join the John Stamos Fan Club - DONE
Get the Olsen Twins to Drop the Order of Protection - DONE
Out Drink a Scotsman - FAIL
Out Drink a Redhead - DONE
Teach a Drunken Redhead to Walk - DONE
Have a Drunken Redhead Throw Up in my Truck - DONE
Beat a One Legged Midget at a Limbo Contest - DONE
Sleep When I Wanna Sleep- DONE
Go 24 Hours without Saying a Movie Quote - EPIC FAIL
Teach the Blind Sign Language - FAIL
Watch a Monty Python Skit Once a Day - DONE
Listen to This Song without Almost Losing It - FAIL
Open for Carrot Top - FAIL, THANKFULLY
Punch Criss Angel in the Nuts - SOON
Not Be Ashamed to do the Macarena - EPIC FAIL
Liberate Canada from the French - SOON
End My Blogs with Love - DONE

Love ya guys :)

The Great Sleep Debate

2008-07-29T04:50:00.010-05:00

"Life is too short to sleep

on low thread-count sheets."

- Leah Stussy

Moderator: Thank you all for joining us and once again welcome to the 2008 Great Sleep Debate. Let me first introduce to you our debaters, first we have Mr. Good Sleep and his brother and rival, Sir. Freaking Awesome Sleep. Mr. Good Sleep, you have the floor.

Mr. Good Sleep: Ladies and gentlemen, first let me say thank you for being here tonight as we debate the subject of sleep. Since the dawn of time we have slept good and shall continue to sleep good. This fact is...

Sir Freaking Awesome Sleep: Who wants to do jelly shots, my treat!?

Moderator: I'm in, lets go! Debates over, Sir Freaking Awesome wins. Good night.

Mr. Good Sleep: DAMMIT!!!

MORAL OF THE STORY

When it comes to sleep, freaking awesome will always be better

and cooler that just plain good.

Raise your hand if got some freaking awesome sleep. *raises hand*

Hope everyones week is going well, love ya. :)

Time For Some Smiles

2008-07-28T11:06:00.003-05:00

Beeker can bring a smile to any face :)

What Dreams May Come

2008-07-27T00:08:00.004-05:00

"Your vision will become clear only when

you look into your heart. Who looks outside,

dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."

- Carl Jung

As I was sleeping this morning, I had a very weird and vivid dream. I was driving in my truck on my way to work I think, as I was dressed in my usual button up shirt and khakis. I was enjoying the ride and everything was calm. It appeared to be an average day. I remember seeing a red light ahead so I slowed down and stopped. I looked out my window to the left and saw a friend of mine. I smiled and waved, she smiled and waved. I look ahead at the light, it's still red. I look back over at my friend and she's pointing a gun at my face. When I realize what is happening, she fires hitting me in face.

I woke up shaking with my heart pounding out my chest. Everything I saw and experienced was so real, I felt it. I couldn't go back to bed, and only got about 4 hours of sleep. What was really weird, was as I drove to work today, I was actually scared to stop at lights. I had to stop at two, and when I did my hands actually shook. As I finished the day to work I tried to think about what this dream meant. I came to one of three conclusions.

1. She will be the death of me.

2. She will set me free.

3. I should never eat Red Lobster after watching a really great movie.

I still don't know what to think, but with some dreams, you aren't meant to know. I am hoping this is one of those times. Love you guys.

As I Walk Empty Handed

2008-07-26T00:05:00.006-05:00

"The hardest days of ones life,
are the days spent empty handed."
- Josh Leadbetter

As I walk empty handed

through dark and scary places,

I am reminded of better times

with kind and caring faces.

They are crisp in my mind

and filled with joyful glee,

I think of them everyday

while a smile comes over me.

But as I walk empty handed

certain things are clear.

Those heavenly times are lost,

and might not ever reappear.

Yet down this road I shall walk

and pray in as many ways,

that keeping my hand held open

will lead to loving hand held days.

Swimming in the Rain

2008-07-25T06:49:00.014-05:00

“Anyone who says sunshine brings happiness

has never danced in the rain”

- Unknown

Why is swimming in a pool when it's raining so freaking relaxing and fun? Is it the beer, the people, the rain, or a combination of each? I don't know but either way fun was had at the yearly get together with friends from my old stomping ground, the ER. We were at a nurses house who provided tons of food, tons of booze, and a big pool. We kept with tradition and did shots every half hour throughout the night, ranging from Hot Apple Pie to the very tasty Horny Girl Scout. Also keeping with tradition, yours truly drank his ass off, over 15 beers and 10+ shots, and was still sober when things were said and done. There must be a gene helping me here. Must be on the Leadbetter side since the Center side of me has quite a few drunks in the family.

I must say, overall the night was great. Even the fact that everyone there, except me, had a significant other with them, hanging on them, and drunkenly smooching didn't dampen my fun in the least. Great times. So, for the party next year I have three goals; slimmer Josh, drunker Josh, and Josh with a gal of own to smooch with. :)

Love ya guys, hope the weekend is exciting and fun.

Totally Out the Blue Side Note: One of my favorite movies, Red Sonja, is getting a redo, as it seems that's all Hollywood can do now-a-days. Well, today they released a teaser poster with Rose McGowan and I learned what it takes to make a great poster; Redheads, Swords, Chain male.....enough said. Need to get those last two for L. :)

Click picture for bigger picture

Gun Don't Kill People, Ferrets Do - Part II

2008-07-24T18:41:00.001-05:00

"And there he was.....a ferret, in a flack

jacket, holding a flamethrower.

It was then I realized, run like f$%k!"

- Josh Leadbetter

Here's a continuation of a previous blog I wrote about the more unusual ways for one to loss the battle with the Axis of Life, enjoy. Death by....

Cranius Corndogius

Death from cranial corn dog trauma. Usually seen at state fairs

after someone insults a carnie.

The Great Chicago Letdown

A slow drawn out death from years of last minute let downs.

Only happens in baseball with one team.

Inadvertent Haseking

Death by angry hockey stick to face. Only happens near Detroit from the road rage of Dominik Hasek.

Flack Jacket Flamethrowing Ferret

Enough said

A Conversation with Myself

2008-07-24T00:41:00.010-05:00

"One who asks a question is

a fool for five minutes;

one who does not ask a question

remains a fool forever."

- Chinese Proverb

After doing the Lipton questions from Inside the Actors Studio, I was ready for more and to maybe have a little fun. So, after getting back from walking, I starting to mess with his original questions. Lets try something a little different shall we.

1. What is your favorite memory?

Taking my then fiancee to see my dieing grandfather at the hospital.

He was able to see her for the first and the last time.

2. What is your least favorite memory?

Tie: My first pediatric code in the ER, and the day I remembered

all the stuff I lost while mentally unavailable.

3. What or who turns you into a softy?

Children, children can make anyone melt.

4. What or who turns you into a bad mother f*^%$r?

Guys who hit girls, I will mess them up.

5. What is your favorite word that sounds like a cuss word?

Kumquat; I'm sorry but I giggle on the inside when I hear this.

6. What do you love?

Being loved, movies, and my family and friends

7. What do you hate?

Knowing that at any minute, this life could end. I don't

want unfinished business.

8. What person, alive or dead, would you like to attempt "to do"?

Helen of Troy; just to see what the fuss was about.

9. What person, alive or dead, would you NOT attempt "to do"?
Tie: Janet Reno and Typhoid Mary

10: If Heaven exists, what is the LAST thing you want God to

say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Wow! You sure looked at A LOT of porn."

I hope you dude and dudettes are having a great week. Love ya

A Conversation with James Lipton

2008-07-23T00:11:00.011-05:00

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.

Watch your words, for they become actions.

Watch your actions, for they become habits.

Watch your habits, for they become character.

Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

- Unknown

1. What is your favorite word?
Lovely; Its just so beautiful.
2. What is your least favorite word?
Can't; So negative and people seem to be quick to say it.
3. What turns you on?
Being told, I love you; Makes life worth living.
4. What turns you off?
Abuse; I will put a hurtin on someone who hurtin someone else.
5. What is your favorite curse word?
Shite; Sounds freaking cool.
6. What sound or noise do you love?
A woman's moan ;)
7. What sound or noise do you hate?
The beeping at every job I have had. Present job, monitors alarming.
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
Plastic Surgeon
9. What profession would you not like to attempt?

Crack Whore
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

"Nice guys have always been my favorites."

So what about you?

And Now For Something Completely Different

2008-07-22T18:32:00.005-05:00

"The BBC would like to apologize for the following announcement."

If this doesn't make you laugh, nothing will. :)

Love ya guys

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

2008-07-22T00:29:00.000-05:00

"When one bases his life on principle,

99 percent of his decisions are already made."

- Unknown

I love this quote but what's on my mind at the moment is a decision about my future. One of the hardest things we as human beings have to decide is what do I want to do? I love being a secretary but I know when I find the right gal I want to be able to support her. This last month or so, I have realized that if I want to be alone and only support myself, this job will be fine. However, I do not want to be alone and know that I must do more. This little brain has been in overdrive the last few nights kicking up ideas of what I should do. Here's the 4 choices I have come up with so far.

Pro Wrestler : While my career as a pro wrestler was short, 3 matches, I always liked being in front of a crowd. The ring, the cheers, the spandex, and the chair shots. And as the weight continues to come off, I realize it would easier for on my body. Rickey Rescue is still around, and like Chuck Norris, is just waiting to strike.

Get My Paramedic License : I had an EMT-B license but it has since expired. I would go back to school and get my EMT-B, then enroll in the Paramedic course and go from there. The EMT course is about 6 months but the Paramedic one is another year and half. This one seems to be the front runner of my choices.

Be An Interpreter: This one is lowest on the list as it takes the most schooling. Most Interpreters are fluent in two languages, I would learn one, probably Russian, and work on my English skills. My other choice would be sign language. There is something very beautiful about signing.

An Ultimate Fighter : Ok, this one is far fetched, but if I do drop this weight, anything is possible.

I know in the end, what I do will also be decided by those in my life. For the first time, I'm actually looking forward to it. Love ya guys.

UPDATE: On a sadder note, a 22 year old paramedic and firefighter, Ryan Hummert, was shot and killed while responding to a call in Maple Wood. I did not know this man or the company he ran with. But as a medic, I have a lot of friends who are firefighters and I think the world of these people. They put their lives on the line, just like officers, simply by doing their job. And when one falls, I think a little piece of us dies with them. So, if you know a firefighter or even a paramedic, thank them for what they, for they put their lives on the line everyday just for us.

I Wonder.....

2008-07-21T00:09:00.001-05:00

"The great art of life is sensation,

to feel that we exist, even in pain."
- Lord Byron

Have a great monday guys and gals, love ya.

Such a Good Week You Are, Yes You Are!!! Have a Bone.

2008-07-20T01:02:00.011-05:00

"My great week can beat the

shit out of your great week!"

- Josh Leadbetter

Great weeks for me have always been few and far between. But, I can say, this is the best week I have had in a while. Work is going great, I'm getting to spend more time with friends, and the weight is still dropping off. If I can just have a few more weeks like this, everything will come together.

Oh, and another reason for the

is the new Watchmen trailer. It's taken from the greatest graphic novel of our times and here's the trailer.

Holy sweet mother of all that's pure with maple syrup!

Dam that's nice isn't it. Awesome song too, it's The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by the Smashing Pumpkins. Listen Here, or you can Download It Here. I can't stop listening to this awesome song.

Love ya guys and maybe next week we can have a cage match, your week vs my week! :)

UPDATE: Finally finished reading Watchmen......... :) happy days continue.

Thanks Mrs.'s B.

2008-07-19T03:47:00.007-05:00

“I've never let my school interfere

with my education.”

- Mark Twain

Total randomness again as I am in a great freaking mood. OK, think hard about this, really think hard. What stuff do you actually remember from your school days? Any stuff you "had" to know before you passed. What if anything do you still remember? Here's what I get as I put the mental rake to my over grown brain fields.

Math

* Isosceles has something to do with with triangles or corn chips.

* Pythagorean Theorem is not a Finnish Rock Band.

* a(2) + b(2) = c(2) will NEVER be used by me in my lifetime.

* The teacher looked as though he needed more sleep, always.

English

* The first verse from The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe. Did everyone have to memorize this?

* Onomatopoeia is hard to spell without a spell checker.

* Shakespeare's words are beautiful but hard as f**k to understand.

* No one is hotter than the substitute English teacher.

Art/Band

* Playing Smoke on the Water on a tuba does not impress the ladies.

* If there was a gay teacher in school, they taught the art class.

* Art and Band were the funnest classes.

History

* 44 BC: Popeye said "Et Tu Bluto!"

* 1492 : America discovered while Native Americans looked on.

* 1776 : In writing, we told the British to kiss our ass.

* 1861: The South tells the North they will not pick their own cotton.

* 1865 : Mary Lincoln tells hubby a night at the theater won't kill him.

* 1912 : The RMS Titanic "attempts" to jump an iceberg.

* 1963 : Epic fail for magician JFK in his bullet catching attempt.

Physical Education

* Dodgeball is the greatest game ever.

* P.E. shorts for guys are too freaking short.

* Girls however, look freaking hot in P.E. shorts....dam!

* When the teacher can't think of anything, basketball it is.

Health/Science

* On the Sex ED day about VD, the cafeteria always served hot dogs.

* The sun is hot.

* Mars is nothing like Total Recall.

* When the teacher said penis or vagina, everyone giggled.

Study Hall

* Best sleep I ever had.

Listen, Love, then Listen Some More

2008-07-18T02:45:00.006-05:00

"The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts

as a joke, but the Scotts haven't

seen the joke yet."

- Oliver Herford

In the last few months the memories of times long since forgotten have steadily began to resurface. In between love, heartache, biking while drunk, tubas, and the mysteries of the neon slinky, one thing remains constant.......music. Music is a wonderful thing as it simply goes with everything. When the memories were about everything around me crumbling, there was Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Louis Armstrong or Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. When the thoughts were of loved ones and the passionate moments we shared, there was always Barry White, NIN, or Ace of Base......don't ask, it's weird. When recalling drunken frat parties, there will always be I'm an Asshole by Denis Leary. When I was ready to fight there was Down with the Sickness by Disturbed or Ace of Spades by Motörhead...that didn't happen to much as I am a lover not a fighter. Music can help water down a powerful memory. It is also an amplifier that makes some memories that much better and sweeter.

Music is the A/C in the car ride of life. :)

Rock on

Something From My Heart

2008-07-17T11:22:00.015-05:00

When I was young I thought of you,

an angel dressed in white.

And longed for days of meeting,

my angel dressed in white.

Everyday would begin with thoughts,
of my angel dressed in white.

And every night would end with dreams,

of my angel dressed in white.

Then the day came when I met,

my angel dressed in white.

And the days were filled with love and hope,

just me and my angel dressed in white.

These were the greatest times I ever had,

with my angel dressed in white.

And it felt as though it would last forever,

pure love, just me, and an angel dressed in white.

But soon the clouds of sadness formed,

around me and my angel dressed in white.

And soon the colors were dark and scary,

and I lost my angel dressed in white.

Those days have since turned to years,

and I miss my angel in white.

And can only hope when the colors return,

so too will my angel dressed in white.

I have never been a person to put my feelings out there for anyone or everyone to see. I spent so many years keeping them to myself that it's hard for me to really get them out there. I've also never been one to write poetry or any medium like that. But, these last few days have been very trying in my emotional world. And being a guy, that makes things harder. We are supposed to strong, fearless, and never show our inner feelings. Well, today I put myself at your mercy. I do not care if you belittle me or praise me, I just simply wish to express that which I have been unable to express for so many years. I love each and everyone of you and I always will.

Today, I Consider Myself, The Luckeist Man, On the Face of the Earth.

2008-07-16T00:14:00.001-05:00

"A good book should leave you... slightly
exhausted at the end. You live several

lives while reading it. "

- William Styron

Up until a few months ago, I always hated reading. I've always had problems really getting into things that didn't have a lot of pictures. That was until I discovered the greatness that is Graphic Novels. I started to eat them up and really get into them. The stories and illustrations are so original and really out of this world. Before today, I had 4 graphic novels that I love and still enjoy reading.

V for Vendetta,

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volumes I + II,

and

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen is my all time favorite. If you saw the movie, it was ok, but the novels are 1000 times better and I can't recommend enough. And today, at 2pm.....the new members of my graphic novel family arrived; Watchmen and Arkham Asylum : A Serious House on Serious Earth.

Here's the synopsis for Watchmen

Watchmen is set in 1985, in an alternative United States where costumed adventurers are real and the country is edging closer to a nuclear war with the Soviet Union (the Doomsday Clock is at five minutes to midnight). It tells the story of a group of past and present superheroes and the events surrounding the mysterious murder of one of their own. Watchmen depicts superheroes as real people who must confront ethical and personal issues, who struggle with neuroses and failings, and who - with one notable exception - lack anything recognizable as super powers.

Yes, that's freaking awesome!

And here's the synopsis for

Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth.

The inmates of Arkham Asylum have taken over Gothams detention center for the criminally insane on April Fools Day, demanding Batman in exchange for their hostages. Accepting their demented challenge, Batman is forced to live and endure the personal hells of the Joker, Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Two-Face and many other sworn enemies in order to save the innocents and retake the prison. During his run through this absurd gauntlet, the Dark Knights own sanity is placed in jeopardy.

You can't tell me that's not freaking sweet!!!! Just finished it and DAM, my new love is dark, demented, and in paperback form. (Why can't everything be in hardback, hardback rocks!)

Hope everyone is having a great week and that the coming weekend is filled with fun.

Minions R US

2008-07-15T00:24:00.008-05:00

"But I need tacos! I need them or I will

explode, That happens to me sometimes!"

- Gir

Have you ever wanted your own minion to do your evil bidding? And if so, who would you have? Personally, I'd have the greatest minion ever, Gir from Invader Zim. He may not be the best, but he certainly would the funnest. So, how about you. Who would your minion be? Would it be a fictional person or someone you know in real life?

P.S. I had to include this as it is really freaking funny. I know with all the mental issues I had and live with, it could have been a ton worse.

Enjoy

GGGGOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLLLSSSSSS!!!!

2008-07-14T09:18:00.001-05:00

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act,

but also dream; not only plan, but also believe."

- Anatole France

It's 8:20am and thankfully the rumbling in my belly is better than its been. I've just returned from walking at the park with my puppy, man it's such a nice day today. This was one of goals when I started dieting a month ago. Sadly at my heaviest I was up to 401 pounds. The only thing that saved me from looking like Fat Bastard was my height. I love the Leadbetter gene as I am 6'2" and didn't look it as I was told. But, I was in the early stages of Congestive Heart Failure and my health was poor. I had/have edema to my feet/ankles, high blood pressure, and water retention around my lungs and heart. There was a time when I feared going to bed because I was not sure if I was gonna wake up. Your body can only take so much before it says, "Fuck this" and throws in the towel. So, after my mind awoke, I saw this version of myself my eyes had ignored for years. A fat very sad man. That day I said no more. I started walking at least 5/6 miles a week, I usually do more. I'm also doing Atkins. I've lost 25+ pounds since June and the weight is coming off. I have another 150 to go and it's gonna be a fun year. I can't wait to buy new cloths. I plan to frame my largest pair of pants which were a size 54.......sigh. Thankfully even now they are big on me and my belt is on its last hole.

So, something I haven't told but 2/3 people I now tell you. I am gonna lose this weight thru walking and dieting. This is my ultimate goal this year. My mind will be that much better knowing I that I am finally a sexy beast.

And I plan to reward myself when I do get to my goal weight. Something that came to my attention because of my best friend Lauren. I'm gonna get a tuxedo, because to quote her, and most gals, "They are dam sexy!"

And maybe a nice suit as well. I have one person to thank for that. Thank you Timothy Olyphant for kicking ass in the sweet movie Hitman.

If Only I Could Map Quest True Love

2008-07-13T21:55:00.000-05:00

"Love is an irresistible desire

to be irresistibly desired."

- Robert Frost

I am at home, reading books I have not read before. In these books are stories that tell of the truest love between two people. A love that seems to be have been destined since the dawn of time. As if the gods themselves shined the light of eternal love and happiness on these beings. I stop, and am amazed if that is truly possible. Can fate as it were, shine so bright for us in the eyes of love? I believe it does yet it doesn't. It does in the fact that it seems to happen to other people. We all know someone is swimming in the deep end of the pool of love. We are but spectators to their happiness and grateful they obtained the unobtainable. This in lies the part in which it doesn't. It always seems that others are in this light, not us. We are happy for them but would give everything to have what they have if only for a minute. The most miserable feeling in the world is to know that you had true love, and lost it. True love is like lightning, being struck once is rare, being struck twice..... is almost impossible. As I have said before, if you are with the one that lights your way in the darkest of night, never let them go.

P.S. As if in depth thoughts of love are hard enough, I'm also dealing with food poisoning. Last night two nurses and I ate some nacho cheese from our hospitals crappy cafeteria. 20 minutes later, at least for me and 1 other nurse, we visited barf city. We finished the shift in hopes all would be better. I went to work tonight and after an hour was given the green light to come back home. My stomach hurts and there isn't even anything good to watch on watch on TV. I hope this week gets better. Supposed to see an old friend on Wednesday, lets see if it happens. Oh, and

I hate cafeteria food.

Green is the Friendliest of the Colors

2008-07-13T06:08:00.001-05:00

"Orange is the happiest color."

- Frank Sinatra

When one is sitting at a desk trying to work, the strangest of questions will flow through ones mind. You try and concentrate to keep your mind on things at hand. But eventually, your wondering thoughts win the battle and you at stuck trying to make sense of them. As of this second, I'm at work, trying to get some orders done, and these are popping into my head...

"When will Canada be a nuclear power?"

"Why does FOX keep canceling all my favorite shows?"

"If colors were people, which ones would be my friends?"

"Why doesn't Steve Guttenberg make more movies?"

"If love were a drink, would it be a soda or an alcoholic beverage?"

"Do dogs in Mexico bark in Spanish?"

"When will Ace of Base ever be cool again?"

"When will it be cool for American men to wear kilts?"

"What is true love?"

Oh, and if you haven't seen that movie in the last link, you are a sad, sad person!

OPUS REDONE #6

Gone But Not Forgotten

2008-07-12T02:06:00.001-05:00

“Death is not the greatest loss in life.

The greatest loss is what dies

inside us while we live.”

- Norman Cousins

This Opus Redone really hit home when I made it. It was a few years ago and at that time everything around me was collapsing. The walls of everything I knew and loved where crumbling. And, in a last ditch effort to try and find happiness, a was repeately told, "Your a nice guy, but no thanks." I was and still am living in a time when the Nice Guy is on the verge of extinction. So this one really hit home and got my point across. To this date, it is my favorite.

OPUS REDONE #3

Ok, so like most people, I hate ending on a sad but true note. So here is a funny one. I think we have all had moments like this. And if not, your future is gonna be mighty fun :)

OPUS REDONE #4

A Walrus Has Taken My Bucket List

2008-07-11T05:03:00.001-05:00

"Life is rather like a tin of sardines -

we're all of us looking for the key."

- Alan Bennett

I was sitting at my desk, watching some old school movies, when my dad walked in to say hi. He's getting ready to ride his bicycle in an event and says he can scratch that off his bucket list. Last year my father was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of cancer in his bladder. After 2 surgeries, 3 rounds of treatment, and a current cycle of treatments, he's cancer free. When this first started, he drew up a bucket list after watching, of course, The Bucket List. He's slowing crossing things of in the event it returns with force. This got me thinking. If tomorrow I was told I had something that could end my life, what would I put on my own bucket list? What would I do to say, "I'm good to go." This got me thinking and the only that popped up was...

Learn to Freaking Sword Fight!

There is nothing more beautiful or classic than a sword fight. This lost art is one of the most graceful and symbolic art forms left. I actually have 2 swords (nerd) but if I could, I would learn with a Rapier. And speaking of sword fighting, light sabers are the ultimate nerd sword. Here is the best fan made fight sequence I have ever seen.

The MAN Adrian Paul

And that was all that I could come up with. Like anyone else I would see all my family and friends and spend most of my time with them. They is the most important things. I wouldn't travel or waste money that I wouldn't be able to use. I'd spend time with those I love, and have some fun with swords. :) So how about you, what would be on your list?

Oh, and to keep the Opus Redone going.

"THE" OPUS REDONE #5

Opus Redone Lives!

2008-07-10T02:38:00.000-05:00

"Do What You Love? I tried that

once and she called the cops!"

- Josh Leadbetter

Opus is my favorite comic. My love for this penguin goes back to the day when Far Side was still new and printed in every paper. Years ago, when I was a member of a "classy" site devoted to Pin Ups and Tattooed girls, I started doing something called Opus Redone. I would take the comic that is written by Berkeley Breathed, remove his words, and redo them to make them funnier in a bent kind of way. Opus is his baby, I just like to take the formula and add a little Vodka every once in a while. I went through some of my old ones and they gave me the itch to to do them again. I always did, and still do, like doing these. So here you go, The first Opus Redone of '08. Enjoy

To truly enjoy the comic, you need to see it in its full size. Blogspot shrinks it down and its hard to read. Click the OPUS REDONE to see it.

OPUS REDONE

UPDATE 0524 7/10/08

I'm having a ton of fun doing these again. I just finished 4 more, but I plan to space them out. But here's the second one for you. :)

OPUS REDONE #2

Choices Choices Choices

2008-07-09T17:19:00.001-05:00

"Choices are the hinges of destiny."
- Pythagoras

Everyday when we wake, we are presented with a mountain of choices. We must ponder these until a final decision and or decisions is made. Throughout history, the fate of man has hinged on these very choices and their selections that followed.

Here are some of the more common and gripping ones with my choices and reasons.

If you have time, tell my yours :)

You: Democrat or Republican

Winner: Neither, 2 piles of shit, the only difference is the smell.

Legal or Illegal

Winner: Legal, make the government tax it and we all win. And no I don't smoke.

To Drink: Beer or Wine

Winner: Wine - It gets you drunker quicker

You Can Only Be One: Pirate or Ninja

Winner: Pirate - Because I already have the hat and ARRGGG is cool!

Best Waste of Time: Warcraft or Everquest

Winner: Warcraft - Because its fun, and you have to be a sad bastard to play it. Glad I grew out of that phase.

In a Fight: Chuck Norris or Superman

Winner: Chuck Norris - Superman never had a chance, he will be missed.

Sexiest Outfit: School Girl or Nun

Winner: School Girl - It just is!

Best Place to Watch a Movie: Theater or Drive-In

Winner: Drive In. 2 Movies and make out central

Sorry for the crap load of blogs lately. I have so much shit on the brain that at times I just can't get it all down. I hope you enjoy these, I know I am :)

Guns Don't Kill People, Ferrets Do - Part I

2008-07-09T02:15:00.001-05:00

"At a formal dinner party, the person

nearest death should always be

seated closest to the bathroom."

- George Carlin

One of my hero's, comedian George Carlin, passed away a few weeks. He was 71 and died from heart failure. Death makes you think of someones life and what they have accomplished. Death, also, makes you think about how that person died. We as humans, have it our DNA that we MUST know how someone died. Has anyone ever told you that someone died, and the first thought that crossed your mind was not "so how did they die?" Heart failure, heart attacks, old age, murder, and cancer are usually the top reasons behind ones passing. But what of the unusual? You rarely hear about these as they are uncommon and most families would keep these private. So, I have compiled a list of the more unusual ways for one to lose the war on breathing.

So here you go, death by......

Vanilla Icing

The loss of life due to prolonged periods of listening to Vanilla Ice. The body simple shuts down and a patch of hair on the victims head turns blond.

Kermitis Pigis Constinus Annoyus

Death by physical exhaustion from years of trying to avoid yet please a large overbearing woman. The exhaustion is so extreme it causes the skin pigment to turn green and

the man is reduced to that of a simple swamp frog.

Free Birding

Being pecked to death in a phone booth by birds. Usually happens after being incited by the phrase, "Can you hear me now?"

The Mining Ferret

This one is too disgusting to write down. All I can say is it involves a drunken ferret, a sleeping man, a kilt, and an oven ready chicken.

Butter Withdrawal

Death after one substitutes the real butter in their diet with butter buds. I mean common, butter should not be in a powder form!

Bear Grylls

Only happens when camping with Bear Grylls. When stranded, Bear will kill you with his French Legion knife, skin you, and then gut you to make you his shelter for the night. He will then use your skin to make a small amphibious vehicle to escape and might also use your feet in the event he has to swim and needs flippers.

TO BE CONTINUED

Where Does the Red Fern REALLY Grown?

2008-07-08T19:16:00.002-05:00

"Better never to have met you in my

dream than to wake and reach for

hands that are not there."

- Otomo No Yakamochi

As I sit at this desk and read the blog of my best friend, my mind is a sea of information and stories. Reminiscing of great days and love long since past. To think that already in my life time I was able to experience the avalanche that is true love makes me smile and feel warm inside. Yet, having lost love brings back memories long since buried, long since forgotten. How quickly present day joys soon become past memories of a much better time. This life we live is a true Catch 22.

We are given everything yet are we given nothing.

If you are with someone you love and care deeply about, tell them that every moment you have with them is a blessing. Love them as if the world would be ending tomorrow. Enjoy the present, for in the future you may be looking at a computer screen, and holding back the tears of the past.

However, we must move on. Living in the past can be beautiful, but like radiation, prolonged exposure can cause extensive health problems and turn your urine bright green.

Fear Is the Greatest Laxative

2008-07-07T14:00:00.004-05:00

"The conquest of fear lies in the

moment of its acceptance."
- Unknown

Fear is defined as an emotional response to threats and danger. We all have fears, some more than others. I key for dealing with ones fears is outlined in the simple quote above. You must accept your fears, acknowledge they're real. Only then can truly live. So, to set a good example, I will tell you my fears.

Things Around my Neck:

Ever since I was little I hated it when someone would put their hand on my neck. To this date I get very uncomfortable when someones hands are around my neck. Maybe its for the best, keeps things less kinky.

The Spice Girls:

2 freaking words......."Spice World"

Rabid Man Eating Sloths:

Death is scary in and of itself. Now imagine death at the hands of the slowest creature on the planet. It would take him probably a whole year to eat you. And he'd be cute and cuddly the whole time he eat you.........that's true fear my friends.

Unconditional Love:

This my friends, in my opinion, is the greatest fear known to mankind. The thought of giving your love and affection away is mind blowing. Love is the greatest gift we as humans can give to another person or persons. When someone tells you I Love You, you truly are luckiest person in world. The feeling is incredible, words do it no justice. But, when one tries to show their love for someone else, questions will always plague them. Such as

Will they except my love?

Will they love me in return?

Will they drop the restraining order and give me back my clown mask?

Ok, the 2nd and 3rd fears are me having a little fun. But, I do have a fear of things around my neck and like most people, love scares the living daylights out of me. Maybe in the future I will shine the light on a few more of my fears. But till then, how about you.

What are some of your fears?

Humor as Seen By An Orge

2008-07-07T10:46:00.002-05:00

"The most wasted day of all is that

on which we have not laughed."

- Nicolas Chamfort

There are certain things in life that just funny. Your friends in pain from doing something really stupid, a pet farting and startling itself, sneezing and crapping your pants. But, it is the simplest of all things that makes something funnier.

Violence

Anyone who was seen The 3 Stooges knows what I am talking about. Moe, Larry, and Curly were comical geniuses. They knew, in order to make a scene funnier, you must resort to these acts. You can't tell me they would have been the gods they are had they not poked eyes, slapped heads, and used a monkey wrench on each others noses.

"Bring hither the skin diving suit with

the bottom cut out,

and unleash the rampant wildebeest."

(Red Dwarf but still a funny quote)

I bring this up for reason. I'm sitting here, getting ready to go to bed before I have to head into work. I'm watching classic BBC comedy as it is far superior to American comedy. Its called Bottom and here is synopsis

Richard "Richie" Richard and Edward "Eddie" Elizabeth Hitler (No relation) are two losers who share a flat in Hammersmith. Richie has never had sex and doesn't have a girlfriend. He doesn't accept the fact that women don't want to sleep with him. Eddie is a bald alcoholic who has bit of a drinking problem and loves smashing everything to pieces. Both Richie and Eddie are unemployed and they spend most of time beating each other up and breaking everything .

Eddie: My Great-Uncle Percy was in the trenches of the first world war. You know what he used to say?

Richie: What?

Eddie : AAH! BLOODY HELL! GERMANS! THOUSANDS OF 'EM! AAAH!

I'm sorry, but you don't find quality programs like this on American TV. And if they did, odds are it would be on FOX and they would cancel it after 2 episodes.

You also can't forget The Young Ones.

Four mis-matched university students share a house in North London: Neil, the hippy; Mike, the cool person; Rick, a would-be anarchist studying sociology; and Vyvyan, the punk medical student who is prone to extreme violence. Together with their bastard Russian landlord, the world of these "bachelor boys" is surreal and violent.

"This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence. "

This is true humor at its finest. Simple, violent, and dam funny :)

Universal Languages

2008-07-06T18:45:00.001-05:00

"A painter paints pictures on canvas.
But musicians paint their pictures on silence.

- Leopold Stokowski

A universal language is a hypothetical historical or mythical language said to be spoken and understood by all or most of the world's population. Sounds beautiful doesn't it and god bless Wikipedia. To me, the greatest of the three universal languages is the language of music.

I remember being at college, in a huge theater, with a hundred other musicians. They were from all around the world and a good chunk didn't speak English. I remember thinking to myself, hows this gonna work. Then the conductor raised the baton and we started playing. Music is the language of notes. To see a group of people who are unable to communicate thru words, communicate thru another medium, that of music, is amazing. It truly to me is the greatest universal language.

Still on my favs, thanks L

The second language is that of mathematics. Not quite as much fun as music in my eyes, but still, universal. I remember having a Russian math teacher in college and not being able to understand a dam word he said. But I was able to follow the math and still be able to fail his class due to poor attendance. By the way

That never happens does it? A college professor who you cant' f*&%king understand!

The last universal language is that of sex. Even thought almost totally physical, the language of sex is undeniable. This language is more of body words more than spoken words. You are able to tell what that person is thinking and what they want by the language of the "ready" human body. Example, guys, you know instinctively when your with a girl, and she does that think where she looks at you and starts to nibble on her bottom lip........yeah you know its on!

Happiness is a Giant

2008-07-06T06:29:00.001-05:00

"Many persons have a wrong idea

of what constitutes true happiness.

It is not attained through self-gratification

but through fidelity to a worthy purpose"

- Helen Keller

I remember being at work and holding a 7 week old baby. The baby had cried all day and whenever someone tried to hold her. But when I held her, she looked at me, and went to sleep. I started to laugh and realized she was happy and what little it took to accomplish that. It doesn't take to make one happy. That made me think about what it takes to truly be happy.

Happiness is being held and cuddled by a giant!

Here my out here, babies are what, great than a foot. So in comparison, you would need to held by a giant who was 30-40 feet tall to be in the epitome of happiness! :)

I kid, but it does make one think about the things that make one happy. For me personally, everyday above ground makes me happy. The smiles of my friends, and the drunken memories I have with them.

How about you, what makes you happy?

Cerebellum Bellums

2008-07-06T05:51:00.003-05:00

"You don't have to control your thoughts;

you just have to stop letting them control you."

- Dan Millman

It was April of this year. I was at my computer when I started to get a terrible headache. I was unbearable. I had to stop what I was doing and just try to relax. It only lasted for a few minutes but it felt like a few years. When it was all said and down, I felt different. A calm I had not felt in years was upon me. The darkness wasn't so dark. The light that had for the last few years never shown on me, was. The feeling was intense. My mind was starting to come back to me. And then memories started to return. Losing the love of the my life, losing my future children. I broke down and started to cry. I couldn't believe what had happened to me.
Why had this happened to me? Why was I the one to lose everything?

Mental illness is just that, an illness. It doesn't single out a particular person or have any commonality at its discretion. All I knew, was I was free. Maybe not forever, but for the moment. I called my lost love to tell her the news. Even though we had still remained friends during this dark time, it had not been the same. I just didn't know how to act around her. But, she stayed in my life, unaware of my demons, and for that I will always be grateful. Deep down, she kept me alive.

After I had talked to her, I started to think about this new found freedom. How did this happen? What made that moment the moment everything got better? Like the illness, I will just never now. I think in my mind a civil war had been waged. Two sides, sanity and insanity, had been fighting since day one. Thankfully, sanity won the battle, if not the war.

Thus begins a new era for me, Josh is back...and changes have been in the making. I've got my sunscreen, so lets enjoy this light.

So what do you say.....lets try and have some fun :)

When It All Began

2008-07-06T05:05:00.003-05:00

"Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence— whether much that is glorious— whether all that is profound— does not spring from disease of thought— from moods of mind exalted at the expense of the general intellect."

- Edgar Allen Poe

My name is Josh, I'm 26, and up until earlier this year, I was lost in the darkness that was once my mind. Years ago, I had it pretty good. I was in love, engaged, and had a fullfilling job as a medic in an ER. Life was grand. I had friends that cared for me and a woman who I was going to marry and one day have a family with. Then, out of nowhere, this world I loved started to crumble before my eyes. In the blink of eye, it happened. I had a total breakdown. My mind was gone and everything around me hurt me. I was not in control anymore, I was a prisoner in my own mind, while this darkness started to take over. I kept it to myself in the hopes that it would pass and life would get back to normal. I was wrong. The madness i was experiencing was out of this world. It is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.

This first thing I lost was my girl. I broke up with her. In my mind I was a sinking ship, swirling around, and about to capsize. If I went down in flames I did not want her a part of it. At the time, it seemed like the best idea. I know now, looking back, it was the worst. I should have asked her to help me get thru it. But that last thing madness wants is company.

The next thing I lost was my job. The dark blanket that is madness had covered my eyes to the job I loved most. I had the greatest job. I was able to help people and make a difference in there lives. But, as time went on, I stopped caring, I stopped wanting to help others. I kept asking myself, "How can you possibly help others, when you can help yourself." So, not being able to take it, I started calling in. I give my boss credit. She gave me more chances then most, but in the end, she let me go. I miss that ER more then ever.

Last I started to alienate my friends. Never calling them, never seeing them. It's not that I didn't want to, I just knew I would have nothing to say and that the person they were seeing was not the same person they once knew. Everything I had worked so hard to get, was now gone.

3 years of my life........gone. Spending my time alone with the demons of sadness, madness, death. Never once did I have a day free from the thoughts of death. Waking everyday in my own personal hell on Earth and hoping for a sweet release. It was a constant battle just stay alive. Telling myself that this hell would not be permanent. 3 years of my life, gone.